Holllydayyyyy

I'm such a lazy bum. -.- I swore that I am going to finish reading my gynae text book during this holiday (like finally) but still..the first day of holiday defined who you are for the rest of your holiday. So I ended up downloading games from google playstore and checking updates from facebook and instargram everyday. And did nothing else except eat and sleep -.- Every night I feel like throwing my phone and tab away. How pathetic -.-

I wonder how others update their blog regularly. It's like a mission impossible to me. *slap self. Well it's the 6th week in O&G and I finally got the chance to meet the most epic doctor ever. And guess what I have hyperventilation whenever she stares at me. That aura. That pair of eyes. @@
Of course, there's a lot of scoldings you can get in O&G. People can just scold you for no reason. And they won's stop scolding like forever -.- It scares me that I actually had a thought of why am I here to be scolded by you? I mean they were medical students few years back right..why so mean? I don't mind about the scoldings but if you scold me for no reason and I got zero input after that.. it pissed me off. For wasting your time and my time =/
But still, I am happy to be in O&G as most patients are pregnant mother anticipating their babyyyy. :D

So...yeah I am gonna start reading tomorrow. LOL

PPD Camp II 2013/2014

Went to Ulu Sepri, Rembau, Negeri Sembilan again for the second time. I am glad that I learnt something from this PPD camp, thanks to our facilitators Prof Dayang (peads surgeon) and Pn Ruth (nursing department). 

I have always been thinking that what would I be in future if I was not chosen to enter the faculty of medicine. Thank god for giving me a chance to be here, as a doctor in training, to have wonderful experiences in my life. Throughout this course, we are expected to manage our time well, to be able to communicate with people, to keep a poker face and not to judge people, to be caring and empathy, to dress and act professionally, less complaining, besides performing well academically. 

I have always been amazed by the doctors I met, they are so great and knowledgeable that kept me thinking, when will I become one of them? Am I going to be a good doctor? Am I able to inspire people like what they are doing right now? 

Tomorrow is the day where our real posting starts. 3 more years, hopefully, I will become one of them. :)

Insomnia.

Maybe it should be "unwilling to sleep" instead of insomnia. 19/8. It's getting nearer and nearer. I don't want to go back and face all the same old things again. 

No I am not strong enough yet. Still, I am trying to escape from the reality.

How I wish that the clock will stop ticking...

Pain.

Pain, is the most complained symptom doctors are going to get from patients, a doctor once told me. It seems to be the easiest symptom for us medical students to start with the history taking because there's a mnemonic of what we have to ask in order to assess the pain, the "SOCRATES". Site, Onset, Character, Radiation, Associations, Time, Exacerbating/relieving factors and Severity.

Well if you had experienced any pain with a severity of 10/10, I guess it would be unforgettable. It sucks, to the extend that you are no longer yourself any more. For me, the worst case scenario is definitely gonna be the pain that never stop haunting me for every 28 days-period pain (also known as dysmenorrhoea)

Pain killer has become a must for me when the big day comes, or else I am going crazy. Exercising and avoiding cold drinks will be the only way to relieve the pain besides taking meds every month. But for someone like me with a complete lack of determination and perseverance that's not something that I will do every month lol *self slap. So whenever someone says she got period pain, I will be like *pics below.

And no I am not writing this to describe how pain is it or how to relieve the pain, all I wanted to say is.... life is short. Enjoy it when you're not in pain. LOL

When laziness strikes..

That's how lazy I am. 

The end. 

Random thoughts

30.12.12_landscape album

You know, I never really succeed in doing what I have planned for my holidays. *I have forgotten what was my plan either. I think blogging is a good way for me to remember what I have done but I am just too lazy. It's so amazing that I have no idea I written that before. It's like reading a story of a complete stranger lol. I wonder how many diaries I have wasted because every time when my mood comes I will find a brand new diary and write one page and...that's it. Lost/collecting dust/recycle/forgotten. 
Soooo, I'm determined to write a post....every month? so that I can laugh at myself when I am old. (let's see)

So the second year of medical student's life had ended and I'm currently repeating the cycle of eating, sleeping and eating everyday. A drastic change I say, the second year of my medical school life, had taught me a lot. A lot of crying, less laughter. A lot of changes, perhaps it's good. Backstabbing, fake smile, fake fake fakers. Sometimes it makes me feel like communicating with minions rather than human lol. People still judge, even if they said they don't. (including myself) So why care so much, just be yourself lah. BUT still, you can't just be yourself. Have to fake a smile even though you don't feel like smiling. Have to say hi even you don't feel like talking. This is socialising. And this is life. (ok maybe a little bit of negativity)
I was surprise that I enjoyed the conference so much even though it is super tiring. Kinda regret that I didn't become GM because you can't really get to know many delegates by becoming an organising committee. It is fun when you meet someone from different countries and simply talk craps hahaha. Because the backgrounds are still clean (if you get what I mean lol)


Change; we don't like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying. But here's the truth: The more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change, is, everything. ~Greys anatomy

I am thankful that I still have my friends in Penang. The sense of belonging.
At least things don't change too much here. 

Craps.

Somehow I got a feeling that everyone out there don't really like me. Well maybe not everyone. Most of them. Stupid isn't it. @@. My level of confidence could be that low sometimes.

I need to stop crushing candies cuz it make my heart beats faster & it affects my mood whenever i'm so close to completing that level. =.=
It's just a game. It's just a game.